Annie the Nanny

Just Because

2010-03-21T18:28:00.001-07:00

I might not be Annie the Nanny anymore, but I still see the kids for occasional babysitting gigs. Here's what happens when we get together these days!

First they're sour, then they're sweet

2009-08-01T20:59:00.001-07:00

I tried to blog about my last day on my last day, but it was too much. I should have saved some of the earlier editions. They all began like this:
I am heartbroken.
Will it ever stop hurting?
This is the very definition of bittersweet.
And so on, and so forth. It's better that I didn't subject you all to that mumbo jumbo. I'm in a better place now, so hopefully I can be clear with my words.

Breaking up is hard to do. Ha, still sappy but that's what this situation is reminding me of (that is, what it would remind me of had I ever actually been in a relationship). It is like when you know it's time to move on, you know that there is somewhere else you should be and yet putting one foot in front of the other and walking away breaks your heart.
I am so happy that the kids will be able to have their mom at home with them every day. I am so happy that my new job is challenging and will actually utilize the skills I spent $80,000 developing in college. I am even happy that from now on the kids will see me less like an imitation mom and more like a super fun babysitter! But it is still hard. I am still sad.

I think there is also a part of me that is terrified to work in an office full-time. I mean, this is what I was avoiding 6 years ago when I graduated. Sitting in a cubicle. Making Excel spreadsheets. Leaving awkward voicemails while the whole office listens in. Basically, I took the movie Office Space to heart and implemented it's message into my life. Don't become part of the machine. Corporate America will kill your soul. Do what you love, not what makes you money. And I still feel that way. The whole desk job thing is frightening to me. But it's also good for me.
I need structure for awhile. I need to be able to provide for myself and invest in something that has a future in it for me. I'm not sure I'll be editing medical textbooks for the rest of my life, but I am learning a ton about the publishing business at the moment and that can only help me, right? And maybe someday, when I write my book, I'll have some connections to help me get it published! Maybe...

Right now I'm feeling a little sad, a little nervous, and a little proud of myself. I haven't decided what to do with this blog yet. Maybe I'll keep it around to post little memories of my time as Annie the Nanny. I will miss that title. Annie the Editorial Assistant does not have the same ring to it :-( But it's got potential.

Cry Baby

2009-07-16T13:54:00.000-07:00

Baby boy is on the move! James is sooooo close to crawling. He basically gets up on all fours, rocks a bit, moves into the downward dog and then face plants on the carpet. This is not usually painful, unless he's on hardwood or tile, or sitting directly in front of the coffee table.
I keep trying to picture my last day with these kids but I don't think I'm ready to follow through with it yet. In my mind, the day will go something like this:

8:25 Arrive at work (25 minutes late)
9:00 Tell Erin to stop watching TV in the basement. Fight ensues.
9:15 Realize I've lost another fight to a 6 year old.
9:30 Change Claire's poopy diaper and get sad about it b/c it might be the last time
9:45 Change James' poopy diaper, but don't get sad b/c there will be more this afternoon
10:30 Watch Molly put her babies 'to bed' (all 15 of them) spread out across the foyer. Cry because it's so damn cute
11:00 Try to get Kathy to take us out to lunch, preferably at Happy Joe's.
11:30 Eat the shit out of that cinnamon pizza. Cry because this will be the last time I eat lunch in an arcade setting for awhile.
12:30 Put Claire to sleep in her big girl bed. Cry, just because.
1:00 Swaddle the crap out of James to get him to sleep. Pass out on the couch holding him. Cry in my sleep.
2:00 Wake up. Catch my last real time episode of General Hospital. Cry because Jason and Sam can't seem to get back together.
3:00 Make sure Erin is still alive in the basement. She is, but Molly is seriously annoying her!
3:30 Update Facebook status : Anne Simon is leaving on a jetplane. Don't know when I'll be back again.
4:00 Change James' poopy diaper. Cry because this probably is the last one.
4:30 Play.
5:00 Commence panic attack.
5:30 Call Elsevier. Tell them I can't accept their job offer because I've developed an attachment disorder to a 2 year old.
5:45 Give the girls a hug and a kiss and a high five and a shake and a bump. Cry. Awkwardly hug Kathy and Tom. Tell the girls to have a great time in Florida.
6:00 Leave. Cry. Drink. Move on.

That's all I've got so far. I'll do live updates day of, if for no other reason than to retain my sanity. Can this really be the end of Annie the Nanny?! Annie the Editorial Assistant doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

Phun with Photo Booth

2009-07-05T19:55:00.000-07:00

Photo Booth is truly spectacular when you are missing one of your front teeth.
Yeah, she would still be cute even in she had an abscess in her cheek.
This is the shot I will use when I audition for America's Next Top Model. I'm a shoe-in!

Absense makes the heart grow fonder

2009-06-30T12:05:00.000-07:00

This week, I am on vacation. Originally, I asked for the time off so I could go to Florida, but that fell through, so I tried to plan an all-inclusive trip to Mexico (up yours, swine flu). Unfortunately, non of my friends have the ability to leave their jobs / husbands / children for a full week in July (although Lindsey Merrill made a valiant effort), so I had to make other plans again. Lake of the Ozarks, here I come! Wait, that house isn't available that weekend? Crap. What about Branson? Anyone want to go to Branson?? Yeah, I didn't think so. All I've got for sure at this point is a trip to Mount Vernon, Illinois to visit with an old college roommate. Yeehaw :-(
So what am I going to do!! I need a vacation! I want to wake up at noon, lay by the pool/lake, drink something fruity and delicious and make no plans whatsoever. That's not asking too much, is it?! Well, turns out living in a Clayton mansion can provide many of the same amenities as an all-inclusive vacay. Wake up at noon? Check. Lay by the pool all day? Check. Fruity drinks? Expensive, but check. No plans. Well, mostly check. I got roped into dogsitting over the 4th. But at least that means I'll be getting paid to lay by the pool, right?
So instead of a vacation, I'm on a stay-cation. It's working out alright. I still am really hoping someone will call me up and say they have a condo available at the Lake, but right now Clayton is looking pretty good.
Here's the most suprising thing so far, though. I miss the kids. I mean, it's not like I haven't had time off from nannying before, but there's something different this time. Maybe it's the fact that I know I could see them right now if I really wanted to. Maybe it's because my time with them in ending in just a few short weeks. Maybe it's because I have brought them over to my mom's house so frequently this summer that being here without them now makes the place feel strange. I don't know. I just miss them. This feeling will probably last until 8:15 next Monday morning, but still....

London makes my heart hurt

2009-04-28T10:08:00.000-07:00

My life is in transition. Super big, very exciting, kinda scary transition.

Last weekend I moved to my new apartment (which is fabulous and I love it) and am living alone for the first time in my life. So far, so fantastic.
Tomorrow I begin my new job at Elsevier (they publish math, science and medical textbooks) and I am more than excited to be doing editorial work again. It's just part-time for now, but maybe/hopefully it will turn into something more by this summer.
Which leads me into transition number 3. At the end of July, I will have to rename this blog because I will no longer be Annie the Nanny. Kathy is retiring and I will be moving on. This is a very, very good thing, but it's also incredibly bittersweet. I'm not quite ready to process my thoughts on that yet but I'm sure I will be as the summer draws near, so stay tuned.

Now, I'm the kind of person who doesn't neccesarily embrace change wholeheartedly. Don't get me wrong, I like variety in my life, but I have a real problem with control and fear of the unknown so right now I feel a bit like a marathon runner wearin high heels. I'm scared of getting hurt and not quite sure I'll be able to finish the race. And since my fight or flight instinct leans heavily towards flight, I've found myself spending hours on the computer researching jobs and schools in London.

Why London, you ask? Well, I lived there right after graduating from college and it seems to have burned itself into my mind as the happiest place on earth. It's not. I was miserably homesick, the pollution was appaling and I don't think I've ever been as poor as I was when I was working there. But there is something about that city that appeals to me. I think about the plays I saw, the streets I explored, the bars we went to, the job I had and the people I met there and it just makes me desperate to return. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I would quit all my jobs and take up a flat in Knightsbridge or Chelsea and just explore the city for 6 months. Of course I would invite you all for a visit, but mostly I think I would just be alone for awhile. You know, to find myself and all. Oh, and I'd probably become best friends with Gwyneth and Madonna. They would make me their 'project', hook me up with their trainer and microbiotic chef, and at the end of those six months I would look like I was the winner of The Biggest Loser.

I don't know if any of you think the way I do, but I suspect my penchant for London has something to do with my fear of commitment. Maybe that's the real reason I'm not with someone. Because I do kind of always think something better will come along. Then again, I also think I'm going to win the lottery, so maybe I'm just completely detatched from reality. Either way, tonight in my dreams there will be double decker buses, fish 'n chips and the Union Jack flying proud. And hopefully an appearance by a naked Chris Martin. I'm just saying...

Spring Break is for the Birds

2009-03-31T22:43:00.000-07:00

I know that envy is one of the big, bad, Kevin-Spacey-will-cut-your-head-off-and-put-it-in-a-box deadly sins, but I feel it is virtually impossible to overcome when everyone and their mom is on vacation in Florida/Cabo/Panama/France/Branson while I am working 70 hours weeks and can't sleep due to a pinched nerve in my neck. So forgive me while I indulge myself in a 'Pity Party for 1'.

I love to travel. This is something I have been vaguely aware of my entire life. Being poor makes traveling incredibly difficult. So I'll just use this opportunity to take a trip...down Memory Lane.

When I was a kid, we used to take these epic Simon Family Fun Trips (aka vacations). They always involved:
Holiday Inn
where two kids had to hide when the roll-away bed was delivered so management wouldn't know we were sleeping 7 people in a 5 person room
second hand smoke
thanks, Dad.
vomit
inevitable with 5 kids in one overheated mini-van for 14 days+
sunscreen
because redheaded children just can't handle the sun
civil war sites
on the East Coast Tour '91 we visited 22 historical locations in 15 days. many of these locations were merely fields that my dad thought looked 'relevant'.
slumber parties
having 3 little sisters comes in handy when you're bored out of your mind in a Michigan summer house
McDonald's
easiest way to feed 5 kids and guarantee a rest stop 1 hour later
camera
if I had been thin, I'm certain I would've become a model. God knows I had the training.
Grandma Simon
it seems like she was always with us at some point along the way.
motion sickness
no 10 hour leg from St. Louis to Pennsylvania will stop a girl with a heart for reading. but it may lead to some of the aforementioned vomit.
fighting
at this, we excelled.
imagination
developed, encouraged, facilitated and enjoyed by my parents and any adult within hearing distance.

I miss vacation. I miss road trips. I miss Europe. I miss sleeping in. I miss margaritas at noon. I miss the way that salt water smells. I miss dreaming big. I miss the anticipation of adventure. I miss Spring Break. Sometimes, I miss myself.

What is a Nanny?

2009-03-20T15:34:00.000-07:00

Erin has a book called 'What is a Princess?' It is her favorite book and to my knowledge, the first book she ever read all by herself. In it, several princess (Disney, or course) define themselves.

A princess is caring.

A princess is happy.

A princess is loving.

So the other day, the kids and I were trying to not fight (I mean, they were trying not to fight) so I got this idea to put them in front of my iCamera and ask them 'What is a Nanny?'

These are the results

Kiss me, I'm Irish

2009-03-13T22:27:00.000-07:00

Being Irish, I was always taught a healthy respect and appreciation for St. Patrick's Day. I think there is something about being a freckely redhead that immediately bonds you to this day. It's like it is the one day a year when people wish they had you pasty white, brown speckled skin and frizzy, uncontrollable ginger hair. At least, that's what I've chosen to believe. I hope you have a very Happy St. Patrick's Day! Caed Mile Failte!

The Music in Me

2009-03-10T22:30:00.001-07:00

Music has always held a special place in my life. I think it has something to do with my dad. He always used to make us listen to the Grateful Dead, the Allman Brothers and Mary Chapin Carpenter in the mini-van during family vacation when I was a kid. So many of my memories can be associated with songs. Here's a brief list of past, present and future songs that are important to me.
1. Here Comes the Sun - Abbey Road, the Beatles
This was my very first CD and I distinctly remember hearing this son and wanting to dance outside.
2. You've Got it (The Right Stuff) - Hangin' Tough, New Kids on the Block
First boy band experience of my life and it was magical. Hearing this song reminds me of Bristol Elementary School, girl scout camp and being 9.
3. I Will Always Love You - The Bodyguard Soundtrack, Whitney Houston
This was not my first R-rated movie, but I think it was the first one I ever rented and snuck past my parents. I LOVED Whitney when I was a kid and singing along with her made me believe that I truly was made to be onstage.
4. Everything I Do, I Do It For You - Waking up the Neighbours, Bryan Adams
Now, I did not know who Bryan Adams was until I heard this song, but you better believe that after my first viewing on VH1 of this particular music video, I was a lifelong fan. This was my first 'They'll play that at my wedding' song. But not my last.
5. To Be With You - Deep Cuts, Mr. Big
This song IS going to played at my wedding, or my funeral. Whichever one comes first. I LOVE this song. The first time I heard it, I was in junior high school and I felt like it was written specifically for me. At the time, I pictured it being sung to me (in public) by Leonardo DiCaprio, but now I would settle for it being played during the slow dance portion of my future love story (more to come on that later).
6. I Try - ?, Macy Gray
This song was HUGE in England the semester I studied abroad and I remember having a great conversation about it with Sarah, my Shakespeare professor, in the pub my first week spent at Harlaxton. So now, every time I hear it, I think of Grantham, England, the Gregory Arms Pub and Richard III. Weird, but also very cool.
7. Rush of Blood to the Head, Coldplay
This is an entire album, I know, but I used to listen to this on my way to and from work when I lived in London and there is not one word on the CD that I can't sing along with. This album sealed my affection for Brit Rock music and whenever I hear it, I feel international and very autonomous.
8. Dust in the Wind - Dust in the Wind, Kansas
When I was in college, I wanted to be a screenwriter. It was my dream and my objective. But in my first screenwriting class, I was basically told I didn't have very original ideas and needed a LOT of work. But the first 30 pages or so of my first and last screenplay 'Dust in the Wind' were definitely written from the heart.
9. Warning Sign - Rush of Blood to the Head, Coldplay
If you want to know how what my relationship with God looks like, listen to this song. I want it played at my funeral, along with 'Spirit in the Sky' by Norman Greenbaum, 'Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing' by Sufjan Stevens and 'Life in Technicolor' by Coldplay. If I die soon, will one of you be sure to tell this to my parents? I want them to know.
10. Learning to Fly - Into the Great Wide Open, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers
This song is currently my mantra. I want to live it every day.

A Pain in the Neck

2009-03-09T05:26:00.000-07:00

My neck hurts real bad. I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I woke up last Wednesday with a crick in my neck and as the week has progressed, it has moved lower and gotten worse. My mom thinks I might have a pinched nerve, but I don't really want to believe that because that might require a cortisone shot. The thought of a huge needle being inserted into my back (and how much that will cost me) is just nauseating.
If you have any home remedies you want to send my way, I'm taking suggestions. Here's what I'm working with right now
-I can't raise my left arm above my shoulder
-I can't sleep of lean on my left side
-Holding my head too far forward or backwards hurts A LOT
-If I rest my elbow on anything at the wrong angle, tears spring to my eyes.
-Picking up kids = OUCH!

Ask Your Mother

2009-02-28T22:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday a twelve year old boy asked "What does '69' mean?" My response? "Maybe you should ask your parents. I don't really know what it means."

I am a liar, of course. There was a time in my life when I thought '69' was the funniest phrase ever created. I'm not really sure why, although it must have had something to do with the fact that I was living the life of a seasoned nun yet unapologetically utilizing the vocabulary of a gutter-trash prostitute. My locker AND my parking spot my senior year of high school were both #69 and when I found out I did a cartwheel in the hallway (I think that was the last time I attempted a cartwheel, actually), and then I believe I went home and led a bible study for freshman girls. Hypocrite? No! I was just torn between the flesh and the spirit :-)

Anyway, after I was asked this question by one of my babysitting charges, I remembered a funny story from my own prepubescent experience and I wanted to share it with you.

One of my very best friends growing up was a girl name Carolyn. We went to school together from kindergarten through 12th grade (although I was scared of her until we were in 3rd grade b/c she carried her books across her chest the way that they did on shows like Saved by the Bell and 90210). Since Carolyn had 'the cool house', my friends and I often hung out there after school. It was most definitely my home away from home. And I think it's fair to say that Carolyn's mom and dad were my 'second parents'.

Mr. and Mrs. D (protecting their name for privacy's sake) took time to involve themselves in our lives. They knew who I had a crush on (Dave), the name of my favorite band (Dave Matthews) and my favorite pizza topping (Dave..I mean, bacon). Mrs. D is the one who taught me which fork to use and when, according to proper etiquette. Mr. D coached us in softball and always laughed at my jokes (which were, let's face it, hilarious). In fact, I distinctly remember thinking to myself "I want marry someone like Mr. D when I grow up." He was encouraging, kind, funny and it was unbelievably clear how much he adored Carolyn. It also didn't hurt that he was rich, but that is neither here nor there in this scenario.

I don't know if you watched 'Growing Pains' when you were younger, but I'm going to assume you did b/c I don't want to think about how sad it would be to not have known and loved the Seaver family, even if they were fictional. Anyway, the character Mike Seaver (played by pre-crazy Kirk Cameron) had a friend named 'Boner', aka Richard Stabone, on the show. Now, I knew that there was something funny about that kid's name, but I didn't know what it was and I became determined to find out. So naturally, the most logical thing for me to do was ask someone, right? I asked Carolyn, but she didn't know. I asked Chloe, but she didn't know either. Then it occurred to me that I had been asking only girls and I should probably get a guy's perspective. Enter Mr. D. The conversation was brief and it went like this:

"Mr. D, what is a boner?" I asked.
He laughed, looked stunned, coughed a little and then responded, "Ask Mrs. D. She might know."

Fantastic! That is almost the exact same response I gave to the twelve year old boy yesterday, so it must have been good advice. The funny thing is that I can't remember if I ever asked Mrs. D, but I guess at some point in junior high school I learned that 'boner' was slang for 'erection' (thought I'd slip that in, just in case some of you were still unsure). Now that I'm older, I can appreciate the kind of trust I must have had in Mr. D to ask him something so ridiculous. And more than once in the past I year I have thanked God for putting the D family in my life. Maybe one day this twelve year old will say the same thing about me. Or maybe he'll just think I'm a huge prude. Who knows?

Dear Oprah...

2009-02-23T19:30:00.000-08:00

You should probably know by now that I love to try weird stuff in order to get on TV. I've applied for a few reality TV show, written to Oprah and Ellen multiple times, and even applied to be the host of a local new/entertainment show on CBS (which ended up not getting made, from what I've read). Well, last week it seemed as if all of these wonderful opportunities had been rolled into one giant ball of wonderful. In the 'Be On The Show' section of Oprah.com, they were looking for people who think their lives would make a good reality TV show. Umm, circle yes!!!

So I spent lots of time last week/weekend filming (thanks to Ali), uploading and editing video onto my computer and by Sunday night I had the final project all finished and ready to go. Did I mention the cut-off time for applying was TODAY at noon. So I thought I was gonna actually be able to get in there before the absolute last minute, which is rare for me. I go about filling in all my info onto Oprah application form (name, contact info, 'tell us your story'), load my video up and click submit...and nothing happens. The address bar is only engaged about one-tenth of the way and it just sits there, and sits there, and sits there. I waited, not kidding you, an hour and then I decided to try loading it again. And the same thing happened. And then again. And again. And then, FINALLY, there is movement on the page. It begins to turn into another page and a message pops up! Yeah! However, the message is as follows: "This page is unavailable due to scheduled maintenance. Please try again later."

Crap. I decide that I'll just have to wait until the morning and put Oprah out of my mind (as if that is possible). So, when I got to work today, I finished feeding Claire her (third) breakfast, rocked James to sleep and put him in the swing and then pulled out my laptop to commence 'Operation Oprah' once more! I fill in all the info again, load the video and walk away from the computer (to change a poopy diaper no less :-) thinking everything will be fine. I actually forgot about it for about a half an hour, but when I went to check on things again, what do I find? The same freaking maintenance message! This continued for 4 hours. Then it was noon. Then I gave up.

I guess Oprah will never get to catch a glimpse into the world of Annie the Nanny, but all time and energy will not go to waste because I'm going to post that video here for all of you to enjoy. But if you are close personal friends with Ms. Winfrey, maybe send her this web address and see if she wants to take a peek, okay?!

P.S. Sorry if I interviewed you for this video and you didn't make the cut. I was working with a time restriction and had to tell as much of my story as possible, so I wasn't able to use all of your lovely, encouraging words. But I will keep the video for future projects, or just to make myself feel better when I'm lonely and blue!

What's My Name Again?

2009-02-14T13:09:00.000-08:00

More of the same, but I thought this one was cute and didn't want to waste it!

Fagan Fun Time

2009-02-13T07:13:00.000-08:00

Meet Me in St. Louie

2009-02-11T21:42:00.000-08:00

Every few months of so I get online and begin searching for 'dream jobs'. I'll go to Oprah.com, NBC.com and some random movie studio websites and read about what they've got available. It's always stuff like "Executive Assistant to VP of Creative Development" or "New Media Coordinator for the TODAY Show". I get so excited thinking about the kind of career I could have in the news/entertainment industry. But I never apply for any of these jobs because as soon as I begin to read the job descriptions, I feel completely inadequate. Here are some reasons why:

1. Almost all of the jobs exist in New York or Los Angeles and even in the midst of my daydreams of living in these glamorous cities, my heart rate increases and I begin to wonder "How much does this job pay? Will I be able to support myself on a small salary in such an expensive city? What do I do with all of my furniture (which currently resides in my parents garage)? What if I have to find a roommate in a city where I know absolutely no one? Will I have to wear some kind of business suit and if so, where am I going to get the money for a whole new wardrobe?"

2. I am not qualified for ANY of these jobs. I have been a nanny for 6 years. Before that I worked at a publishing firm in London, England, but I was pretty bad at that job and I think they mostly kept me on because I brought the funny to the office. In fact, I hated all of the administrative stuff that came along with an office job. And despite the fact that I have worked part-time at an insurance office for the past 6 years, I still suck at sending faxes and have had virtually no experience with MS Word, Excel and Powerpoint since my college computer class.

3. The words 'strong organizational skills' do NOT apply to me.

4. All I really want to do is write stuff that makes people laugh, and while the TODAY Show can be charming at times, I don't think they're looking for someone to blog about what Matt wore in to work that morning or why Meredith's hair sometimes looks funny.

5. I truly do like the job I have and sometimes the knowledge that it will end one day paralyzes me with fear. I mean, I love being a nanny....for the Fagan's. But honestly, I don't really love babysitting in general. I love the kids I babysit for, but when I leave them I am NOT looking to start up with a new family (unless it's Brad and Angelina). Nannying is not necessarily lucrative (although I do understand that it is expensive to the person paying my salary) and there are no lunch breaks or sick days. I do it because I love those kids and I really like the people I work for. I also enjoy wearing pajama pants to work and not being required to shower on a regular basis, both those are just perks.

So, while I do retain the dream of one day telling Oprah all about my new favorite things, tomorrow I will wake up and go to work, change several poopy diapers, make a 2 year old giggle and be grateful that I am one of those people who enjoys what I do for a living. I guess that is more than most people have to look forward to, right?

So Random

2009-02-06T20:16:00.000-08:00

We were bored just before naptime so I thought we'd try out the iCamera (at least that's what I'm calling it). James wasn't to keen, but Claire and I had fun :-)

P.S. I meant to edit out the part of the video where I yelled and almost made Claire cry. But I guess I am exposed for the loud mouthed nanny that I am.

Sweet Baby James

2009-02-05T11:07:00.000-08:00

Eight is great! Today is James' two month birthday and I just thought I'd show you guys how big he's gotten! He loves the Bumbo seat (although Claire still thinks it's her chair), the music his swing palys and he likes to lay on his back and look around. James is a pretty great baby and he pretty much only cries when something is wrong (dirty diaper, hungry, gas issues) which is very much appreciated by his nanny :-) His sisters were a little more high maintanence. I'm not sure if he's so much more chill because he's a boy or because he's just a cool cat, but either way I'll take it. My only complaint is that he pees out of his diaper twice a day or so when I'm with him so I'm constantly trying to avoid getting wet spots on my dress.
Not much else to report. I'm adjusting to being alone with the kids again since Kathy went back to work this week. So far, so good! The girls have actually been fighting way less this week. I think if I can get them involved in seperate activites from 4:30 - 5:30, things will run a little smoother. If not, then perhaps you can recommend a good employment agency because I don't know how I will handle them all summer long! I mean, it's not like I can just enroll them in camp on my own, seeing as they aren't actually my kids. Or can I? Hmm, we'll have to see...

P.S. Those random cords are from James' heart monitor. There is a history of SIDS in the family so all of the kids have worn the monitor when sleeping at night for their first 6 months or so, just in case. And James is a champion sleeper. He goes down around 10 and sleeps until 6 or 7am!

So You Think You Can Dance?

2009-01-30T08:37:00.000-08:00

I would say most little girls love to dance for an audience. It's about attention and having someone tell them they are lovely and beautiful. Until recently, I might have thought that Erin was exempt from this. She's a big fan of soccer and t-ball, so I didn't really thing she'd get into dancing and twirling and the like. And to be fair, she's not into twirling. She's into being a rock star. Ever since I gave her that Jonas Brothers CD for her birthday, she's taken to putting on shows for her friends and family. And what a show it is!

Here's a little sample: The first 2 minutes and minute 5 are my particular favorites. Watch this the whole way through and I promise you won't be disappointed (unless you don't really like kids, in which case I'd wonder why you're even reading this blog?).

I had to mess with the video and audio to get this viewable. I kinda like it though. It's very 'Like a Prayer' without the blasphemy and gyrating.

Snowbodies Business

2009-01-27T20:19:00.000-08:00

Okay, so these pictures are from last year's big snow storm, but I felt that they were an appropriate addition to today's post. Due to inclement weather, pretty much every school in St. Louis was called off today. At first I thought that it might be fun to build snowmen and make snowangels with the girls. But then, after 1/2 hour outside, the fun wears off. Then it's just cold and cranky time (and I'm talking about me, not them). So, I've decided that snow days will be illegal in my home when I have a family of my own. I'm probably going to have to sleep with my kid's principal or something, but I believe that is an acceptable price to pay. I have fond memories of sleepovers and sledding from my own snow days, but that is when I was in high school and was old enough to make plans with friends the night before. But after today, I'm certain that elementary school snow days should be banned.

Here's why: Erin and Molly are wonderful, adorable, charmingly clever girls...individually. But as a pair, they live up to the nicknames their father gave to them: Israel and Hezbolah. It's not an all the time thing (sometimes they are the best of friends:-), but when they have the occasion to be locked inside together for a whole day, it's suicide bomber time. And then when you add Hamas (aka 2 year old Claire), things get loud and alarming. James mostly sleeps and cries, so I guess he could be called France in this scenerio.

I have no idea how I am going to survive this summer, that's for sure. Probably lots of Benedryl for them and Prozac for me. Is that bad?

P.S. Sorry if I'm bitchy today. I think I'm coming down with the flu or something. Probably got it from some damn snow bunny.

Senorita PoopyPants

2009-01-17T23:02:00.001-08:00

I love my job!

Top Ten Reasons to Babysit Saturday Night

2009-01-17T22:12:00.000-08:00

10. Sometimes, I just want to see their sweet faces....snarling at each other in anger over that Candyland game board.

9. There is no wireless internet at the house where I am dogsitting and I want to update my blog. There's way more time to get stuff done when they go to sleep at 8pm.

8. I only got to change 20 dirty diapers this week and I'm trying to reach a new record of 35.

7. Camp Rock is being replayed on the Disney Channel and I need an excuse to watch it. I'm not gonna lie, I love that movie.

6. I DVR'd Oprah at Kathy's house on Monday, but never got the chance to watch it. Oprah makes any trip worthwhile :-)

5. My bank account looks more pathetic than a Madoff investor's.

4. That 94% fat free Kettle Korn is just calling my name!

3. I'm getting a little sick of the dog hair all over my clothes so I thought I'd mix it up and go for a baby vomit motif.

2. Saturday Night Live in HD. Enough said.

and the number one reason I chose to babysit Saturday night.....

1. Because my busy dating schedule is just wearing me out and I need a break from all those men in my life!

Baby, it's cold outside!

2009-01-15T08:29:00.000-08:00

This might not be appropriate to say, but you know me. I got so cold after my shower this morning that my nipples actually hurt. It is so freaking cold that I guess even nipple pain is part of the deal. I must tell you that, at least for today, I am quite grateful that I didn't get that job with Oprah because I've heard it's even colder in Chicago and it's not supposed to warm up until June or something.

Speaking of nipples (not my own), James is crying and needs a bottle so I should probably get back to my day job. Stay warm!

Technically, I'm an idiot

2009-01-11T23:00:00.000-08:00

I don't always make good choices when I drink too much. This photo, for instance, was taken at Missy's 30th Birthday party and believe it or not, it was taken before I started doing shots. So you can see that I need to work on my health, both mental and physical.

Anyway, I'm messing with the layout / template of 'Annie the Nanny' for awhile until I find a better one. I don't know about you, but that pink was making me slightly ill. It was a little too close to the actual color of Pepto-Bismol for my tastes. Especially since the last time I took Pepto, it turned my poop charcoal black. I'm not kidding! I was convinced that I had a bleeding ulcer. Thank God for Web MD and it's clear explanations or I probably would have gotten health insurance months ago just to get that checked out :-)

Anyway, please don't be surprised if I go through multiple blog templates before I decide on one. Also, I'm a technical idiot so if you have a good recommendation for easy to transfer background templates, send them my way. I've seen some other people's blogs and they look way better than this one. Mine is funnier, but theirs are better looking (art imitating life)!

Anniefesto

2009-01-09T15:35:00.000-08:00

Here I am! Sorry to delay things, but I'm still a little slow with iMovie and it took FOREVER to get this imported. The next one will be edited much better, I promise :-) I hope you enjoy the video! Give yourself some time, it's kinda long ('that's what she said'). And turn the volume up b/c my camera's audio pretty much sucks.

Here's a few things you might have noticed / I might have missed:

1. Yes, I did record this in a bathroom. There is excellent lighting above sinks, you know.
2. I need a haircut but unfortunately I am now broke from buying my MacBook, so it will have to wait awhile.
3. The 'loved one' I am breaking up with is...Diet Dr. Pepper. I know, he's a doctor and all, but he's just no good for me. But have you met my new boyfriend, Dasani? I think he's Canadian, but that's okay. I like it international.
4. I promised to have this up by 5:30 but I didn't deliver. Guess what, I'm always late. I'll add that to my 'things to do in 2010' list.
5. I cannot tell you the satisfaction / slight embarrassment I feel every time someone tells me that they read my blog and actually like it! I'm still working on how to respond to positive reinforcement so thanks for giving me the opportunity to practice 'taking a compliment'.
6. Hopefully by the next video I'll have an actual camcorder to record with so the audio quality will be improved.
7. You probably noticed that I take several deep breaths throughout the video. That's a fun side effect of a sinus infection. Hopefully the next time I won't sound like I just ran a thousand miles.
8. I was wearing clothes at the time this video was shot, but I guess I just have a preference for low-cut tops. What can I say, Annie the Nanny is a little slutty :-)
9. And finally, those double chins are no joke! I really need to work on not throwing my head back and tossing my hair. Apparently I think I'm freaking Cher or something.

Technical Difficulties

2009-01-09T14:54:00.000-08:00

It's coming, I promise. Give me 10 minutes!

So Long, Farewell

2009-01-08T08:27:00.000-08:00

Goodbye, iBook. You were so good to me for so long, but I guess you just didn't think you could handle the journey I'm about to undertake. Thank you for crapping out now, while I still have enough Christmas money left to purchase a new computer. If you'd done this in April, I probably would've just thrown you against the wall instead of selling you for parts on Ebay. I shall miss your eggshell case and the tiny red line I accidentally marked you with that one time at Kaldi's.
When I think of you, I will think of the time I spent futilely pursuing a Master's degree at Covenant, my depressing turn as a youth intern with Riverside Church (formerly Greentree Webster), the apartment I shared with Chloe in Clayton (which actually was wonderful) and of course, my borderline obsession with Hot Stephen.
I am grateful for the times we've shared, but I sure as hell don't want any of it back.
I'm sure that my new MacBook will satisfy me in ways you never could because he's newer, hotter and much more thorough. But you always be a part of me because, after all, you did pop my Macintosh cherry. So farewell, old friend. You served your purpose well.

And A Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T21:52:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I have a feeling this is going to be a good year for me and hopefully for you too. You may have noticed that I've added a graphic and I feel like such a techie!

Also, I just wanted to let you know that the BIG announcement will be taking place on January 9th. That's my half-birthday and I'll do just about anything to celebrate myself, so that is why I've moved the date. But keep checking in this week because I got my laptop back (yeah!!) so I'll finally be able to post more pictures! AND I got a camcorder for Christmas so I can upload videos and such. It's going to be legend (wait for it) dary! Legendary I tell you!

What child is this?

2008-12-30T13:58:00.000-08:00

I thought I'd post some of the pics I helped Kathy take for their annual Christmas card. My favorite is the one on the top because Claire's face is priceless, but they went with the second shot, where James looks like he's been possessed by a demon. Still, these kids are adorable, aren't they?

And in case you were wondering, James is doing very well. He sleeps a ton, is great at bottle feeding and doesn't seem to mind getting a million kisses a day. And he has yet to pee in my face, so I'm feeling pretty good about this kid.

Green Apple, you must be the one

2008-12-30T13:22:00.000-08:00

Twenty points if you can name the song and artist from the title of this post. 50 if you can tell me what 1990's TV show featured it on their soundtrack. If you know me well, this shouldn't be difficult. If you don't know me, well then, good luck (and also, thanks for reading my blog :-)

Let me start off by offering my sincere apologies for the veritable drought of posts lately. My laptop is broken again, and since this is the 3rd time this year, I am probably going to have to spring for a new one. And since the only acceptable laptop in my mind is the MacBook, it will probably be awhile before I can afford it. HOWEVER, don't let that get you down b/c this thing they call 'maternity leave' is serving me very well. Once the older girls get back to school (next Monday, thank you Jesus), the little ones will naps for a few hours each day and I'll be able to access the interweb while I'm at work. Things should get back into a pattern and I promise to be more faithful to you, my devoted readers (all 7 of you!).

I'd also like to wish you a very Merry (belated) Christmas and a Happy New Year! I had a good time this Christmas. I was dog sitting for the largest pets ever created (two dogs who are so big they live in a make-shift horse stall in the basement) and it was wonderful to have some time for myself. I forget that I don't do well without downtime and unfortunately when you are 28 and you live in your parent's house, privacy is often lacking. Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name and sometimes you want them to leave you the hell alone! So staying in other people's house offers me the ability to decompress and to appreciate my family when I am home. That, and they usually have big televisions with HD. Mom and Dad, not so much.

And finally, I want to let you all know how very much I am looking forward to 2009. I have big plans for my New Year's Resolution and I plan to go public with it right here, so check back on January 1rst for more details. Here's a spoiler: I'm saying goodbye to a loved one, kicking a habit AND making myself EXTREMELY venerable in order to save my life. I mean, it's practically reality television, people. BIG changes are headed my way. Stay Tuned!

It's A Boy!

2008-12-13T19:10:00.001-08:00

Hello, my name is James Patrick!

What the hell am I going to do with a boy? That was my first thought. It's not like I wasn't expecting it (see previous post) but when I got to the hospital room with three little blond girls in tow and set eyes on sweet baby James, all I could think was, "What the hell am I going to do with a boy?"

Obviously, I am so excited for this new baby and I love that Tom and Kathy finally have a son. He is just precious and adorable and yummy looking and since I haven't seen him since Thursday, I cannot wait to get to work on Monday! Maternity leave can be so much fun if it's done the right way!

My trepidation comes mainly from having little to no experience babysitting for little boys. It's weird, now that I think about it. I guess I've just always found little girls easier to deal with. They like princesses, fairy tales and the color purple (not the book, the actual color). Boys seem to open up this door into the unknown. I guess I know that most boys like sports, the color blue and motor vehicles of one sort or another. But do they prefer baseball or soccer, navy or cerulean, porches or dump trucks? There are so many questions I don't have answers for! Also, I am dreading the day when he will pee in my face while I am changing his diaper. I am certain this will happen, and probably while my mouth is open or something gross like that. Yuck!

So I've been pondering my male induced-anxiety all day and I think I've come up with an answer. The reason I am uncertain about what to do with a little boy is because, truly, I am uncertain about what to do with big boys. Men are a mystery to me. I haven't had the greatest of experiences with guys, dating back to second grade when I was asked by a snot nosed brat to sit out of the next game of 'Kiss the Boys' because none of the other boys wanted me to chase them . Follow that with a seventh grade asshole (sorry, I know it's bad taste to cuss in a post about a new baby, but there is just no better way to describe this kid) who called me 'Shamu' to my face while we were dancing at Fortnightly and repeat that pattern with guys from junior high on into college. And every guy I've ever 'liked' has practically run from me kicking and screaming, not that I've ever had really great taste in men (remember Jim the Douchebag?).

Since I am currently in counseling working through my issues with men (and all kinds of other crap), I am learning to try to be very honest with myself and others about how I truly feel, so here goes. I am nervous that I will not love this little boy as much as I love his sisters. I don't really think that is how it will happen and when I held him at the hospital I was instantly smitten, but I think there is just this fear in the back of my mind that because I have been hurt by men in the past, I will somehow subconsciously hold myself back from loving James to my full nanny capacity. The good news is that the hopeful part of me is thinking that loving this little boy could be just the thing to change my man-hating ways :-)

P.S. I realize that I promised to post about the baby on Friday, but I was simply unable to get wireless Internet access. I've asked Santa to remedy this for Christmas, so hopefully he'll deliver on the goods.

Waiting on the World to Change

2008-12-11T04:30:00.000-08:00

Today is the day! Kathy just left for the hospital to deliver baby #4 and I'm sitting in their kitchen waiting for the girls to wake up. Here's the birth day routine, at least the one we've adhered to for the last two babies.

1. Kathy gets pregnant (with some help from Tom).

2. Nine months later, she schedules an induction with her doctor.

3. I am on call the day of induction to come over and stay with the girls because both sides of their family typically wait at the hospital. (today, my call came at 5:15 am. thanks st. john's mercy :-)

4. Rush over to their house and follow the normal routine with the other 3 girls.

5. Try to predict the sex of the baby. I'm pretty positive it's a boy, mostly because I have no clue what to do with a baby boy. I mean, trucks? How the hell do you play with a truck?

6. Anxiously await the call from Kathy letting me know that the baby was born and that I can bring the girls by the hospital when they get out of school.

7. Take the girls to the Cupcakery to get them hyped up on sugar (and to buy their parents cupcakes).

8. Off to St. John's!

9. Provide comfort when one of them inevitably freaks out at seeing their mom in a hospital bed.

9. Kiss and hug the sweet new baby!

10. Freak out a little on the inside because I of how badly I want one of my own.

So, that's the plan for today. I'll let you guys know when the baby comes. My money is on an 8 lbs, 14 oz. boy named Ryan James. We'll see!

Technical Difficulties

2008-12-06T22:20:00.001-08:00

Zoinks! I don't know why, but for some reason my most recent update was placed below the 'Sweet November' post. I'm still trying to figure out how to function in cyberspace. But feel free to scroll on down and read 'Viva La Vida'. But I want to encourage you to pee first, because it's a long son of a bitch!

Word

-Annie the Nanny

P.S. I would like to dedicate this post to a good friend of mine who pesters and encourages me to post more often, all at the same time. This Bud's for you, Carly!

Sweet November

2008-11-30T21:47:00.001-08:00

You may think I have forgotten all about the blog, but that is untrue. I have simply been crazy, dumb busy. And while I would love to post a long and humorous message right now, I'm not going to for three reasons. One, I have to pee. Two, Stella the puggle is whining and wants me to go to bed so we can snuggle. Three, if I can't make you laugh then I won't waste your time.

But since it will be December in 11 minutes, I thought I'd post a top 10 list just to give you a reason to finish reading this post. So here goes:

NOVEMBER'S TOP TEN

10. Only posting twice on Annie the Nanny :-(

9. Having two warts burned off by my dermatologist with little to no warning.

8. Having one wart become a giant blood blister that spontaneously drained at will...sexy!

7. Spending the whole month in 'my' room at my parents house b/c no one called me for dogsitting :-(

6. Being reminded that 'my' room actually belongs to my 18 year old sister and that whenever she comes home from school, she has dibs and I have to find another bed.

5. Having a semi-cute guy buy me a drink at the Coldplay concert in Kansas City!

4. After finishing the beer, having him ask if I "want to get the next round"

3. Visiting the gynecologist for the first time. Very fun (she says, with sarcasm)!

2. Grandma commenting that she likes my haircut because it makes my face look "less round"

and the Number One moment of November was....

1. When my boob popped out of my dress in the produce department of the grocery store. Talk about melons!

More to come in December!

Viva la Vida

2008-11-18T12:00:00.000-08:00

I. LOVE. COLPLAY.

I have never loved a band the way I love this one, and seeing as I am still riding high from seeing them last month, I thought I would just pay homage to my favorite band and tell you all a little bit about the concert. Perhaps you would like to take a minute to put on your favorite Coldplay album and and listen while you read in order to get the full experience. It's cool, I'll wait.

Okay, since there is no way to signify the passage of time in cyberspace, I'll just let you know I waited, like, 10 minutes while I listened to the new Prospekt's March EP. Glass of Water is my favorite!

Moving on. The original Viva La Vida tour date for Kansas City, Mo was on my birthday (July 9th, in case you want to buy me a present) but it seems Gwyneth Paltrow was worried I would steal her man and therefore caused some 'technical difficulties' with the tour. She was right, too. I would've stolen her man. You should've seen the hot dress I wore. Smokin'!

So the show was rescheduled to Nov. 13, 2008. It was a Thursday, which meant I had to find an Annie the Nanny stand-in. So naturally my sister Claire (who basically looks exactly like me, except she has beautiful golden red hair, a boyfriend and is a freaking goddess) stepped in. She arrived at the Fagan Family Funhouse a little before 3 and I hopped into her car and took off....to get gas, pack my clothes, run by the library for some good books on tape and by Walgreen's to pick up some much needed Diet Dr. Pepper.

The concert began at 7:30. It takes about 4 hours to get to KC from STL. I got on the highway around 4:30...and made it in time for the opening act. Go cruise control set at 88mph! I even had time to stop in Columbia for a pee. Amazing.

I used to be completely anti-KC, but a visit there this spring changed my perception a little bit. My aunt, uncle and their 4 boys drove me around, showed me the sights and taught me that Kansas City has more fountains than any other city in the world. Pretty cool, huh? But in my opinion (which is pretty much always accurate) Kansas City feels a lot like a glorified Chesterfield. Maybe not the downtown, but it's suburbs just sprawl and sprawl. It's like, why not just go hang out at Boone's Crossing? Oh, that's right. Because Boone's Crossing sucks and St. Louis is amazing. Whammy!

But I digress. Where was I...oh yeah, I arrived at the Sprint Center just in time to meet up with my friends Kate and Stephen Bell. The Bell's won the prize for best seat location. They were in the 12th row and I'm willing to bet Kate copped a quick feel when Chris was writhing on the ground in front of her. I sure as hell would've.

When I got to my seat (Floor A, Row 8, Seat 14) I noticed that there was an empty chair next to mine. Not a huge shock, considering the fact that I bought my ticket with my, by myself. But there was a nice looking man sitting two seat away and he seemed normal enough. He was chatting up the people around us and eventually introduced himself to me. It went like this:

"Hi, I'm Jim. What's your name?"

"Hey Jim. My name is Anne. Are you having a good time tonight?"

"Sure am! I got these tickets for free from my work, so I'm working on my 4th beer. You want one?"

"Well, sure! I would love a Bud Light. Thank you so much!"

(time for a hair toss, breath check and breast readjustment)

"So, do you live around here...."

And so our conversation continued in a polite, friendly fashion for the next several minutes. I learned that Jim works for AT&T, grew up in St. Charles, Mo., likes to travel and has two dogs. Also, he had two tickets (b/c when he bought them, he had a girlfriend but they had recently split) and offered to let me call up my friend Katie Adams (who I was staying with that night) and invite her to the show. So nice, right? I mean, I had had a dream that I met a guy at theColdplay concert back in July, but I thought that was just wishful thinking. But this delightful interlude was leading me to believe that perhaps I was mistaken.

And then, just as the lights started to dim and Life in Technicolor (my second favorite Coldplay song, despite it's lack of lyrics) began to stream through the speakers, Jim leaned over and whispers in my ear "Hey, the beer guy is coming around again. You wanna get this round?"

Seriously, that's what he said.

Dammit.

I was so thrown by that comment that immediately I was like "Yeah, sure. Two more Bud Lights down here!" And while I was disappointed, I also sort of thought that it was okay because, you know, I'm an independent woman and I can buy a guy a beer. This doesn't mean he's not still a nice, normal, interesting person, right?

Wrong. Jim was a tool. An 'obnoxious, sing-along way too loud, yell things at the band, drink far too many Bud Lights and then accidentally spill one on my dress' tool. I mean, I thought people were supposed to get more attractive when the lights went down. Jim, not so much. He just got drunker and incredibly annoying. When he was screaming the lyric of The Scientist off key and off beat, people kept looking back at him and I felt the need to inch my way down the row in order to prove that we were not, in fact, on a date.

In truth, I found Jim rather bourgeois. People don't go to the symphony and hum really loud when you hear a overture you recognize. They don't go to a movie that they've already seen and proclaim loudly to the entire theater, 'Here's the part where that guy dies!' And they sure as hell do not go to a Coldplay concert and bellow "AND I WILL TRY TO FIX YOU" effectively ruining that sweet song for your fellow concert-goers.

Jim, you are a douchebag and I hope we never meet again. Ruiner.

Douchebags aside, the show was amazing. There was a wonderful mix of vintage Coldplay (can it be vintage if it's only 6 years old? oh well) and the newer, more experimental 'Radioheadesque' songs from Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends. Chris danced around onstage, but only in the most appropriate way and it was way less weird than his fairy-like writhings from the X & Y tour. And by the end of the night, I had developed a deep affection for Will Champion (he's the drummer) because he was so freaking hot when they played their 'God Put a Smile on Your Face' medley. Also, at one point the band ran up into the stadium to a make-shift stage in the middle of the audience and Will sang solo on this cool, Johnny Cash-like song. I was tingling all over! During Lovers in Japan they shot thousands of paper butterflies into the crowd from the scaffolding above and it was so lovely, I got the chills. It probably would've looked spectacular if you were on acid, but I don't do drugs and it was still pretty amazing.

Wow, that was quite a doozie of a post, wasn't it? I hope you have made your way through to Strawberry Swing by now. I'm in the middle of Now My Feet Won't Touch the Ground and feeling pretty good about it. God Bless you. And God Bless Coldplay!

Welcome to Forks

2008-11-10T21:08:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't guessed it by now, my inner teen is still alive and kicking. I love things like Harry Potter, wine coolers, Bonne Belle Lip Smackers and of course, the Twilight series. However, I would like to add that I have liked these books since last October, so I consider myself more of a leader than a follower in this regard. Here's the story of how I became a fan of a pair of star crossed lovers and a family of vegetarian vampires.

Last October the family I work for decided to take a Florida vacation, which provided me with a much appreciated week off. And since I had a $250 voucher from Fun Jet vacations (almost died on the way to Jamaica, but that's a story for another day), I sent out a mass email to my nearest and dearest, looking for a traveling buddy. Here's how most of the responses went:

"Anne, I wish I could go but I have...
2 kids and I can't afford it (okay)
2 kids and my husband won't let me (excuse me?)
2 kids and I'm pregnant (yikes!)

It appeared I was either going to Mexico 'with my by myself', or I wasn't going at all. Then, out of nowhere, who should write me back but my good pal Missy (Orwig) Lang! Here's what I remember her writing in that email:

"scANNEdalous- I would LOVE to go! It will be hard to leave my six month old daughter, Sonya, but I deeply value our friendship and feel this would be a wonderful opportunity to bond with you. And, darn it, I need some rest and relaxation too! Being a mom is hard and I think I deserve 3 days of surf and sun to rejuvenate. Thank you so much for the invitation. You are my best friend. Also, you are beautiful. -Missy"
*I'm summarizing, but that's pretty much exactly what she wrote. I swear, just ask Missy.

So off we go to Cancun, Mexico, where you can lose your wallet, your dignity and your virginity all at the same time! That's not what happened with us, but I've heard some freaky stories. I was feeling rather ambitious on a literary level, so I brought with me 3 books: The Kite Runner (which I still haven't finished), The Book Thief (AMAZING book, although I didn't read it on that particular trip) and Pride and Prejudice (I always bring P&P with me, it's a weird thing I have). I don't know what I was planning, but it was clearly delusional, which is probably why I also bought 5 magazines at the airport.

Missy was of a more tempered mindset. She just brought along 1 book; Twilight by Stephenie Meyer. She expected that I would have heard the buzz surrounding this tween novel because I "read everything and know about all the good books". I do spend an inordinate amount of time and money at Barnes & Noble, but somehow this particular novel had escaped my radar, probably due to my sick obsession with romance novels (reading is supposed to make you smarter, but sometimes it just makes you horny.)

Anyway, after applying a generous coat of SPF 999, I tried valiantly to dive into the Kite Runner, but soon came to realize it's not exactly 'beach reading'. And then I noticed that Missy wasn't reading her book, but instead my magazines, so I started thumbing through her 'easy' book. And that is the last thing I remember.

I. Love. These. Books. They are spectacular. True love between a lonely teenage girl and an immortal vampire, not the most original concept. But something about the way Ms. Meyer writes, the emotions she is stirs, the agony she depicts, the intense longing that Bella and Edward feel for each other, it speaks to me. Loudly. I never thought I would find another author I could enjoy the way I did J.K. Rowling, but I have. Stephenie Meyer. She will never win the Pulitzer, but she has won my affection and respect. And, let's face it, isn't that far more valuable? It is. I know :-)

Twilight will always remind me of that trip to Mexico I took with Missy. We laughed, we cried, we(I) drank margaritas excessively and came home with a 2Nd degree sunburn. It was wonderful! I hope this post has compelled you to begin reading Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn (a.k.a the Twilight series). It will bless your life, I promise. And, as a bonus, then we will have something to talk about that doesn't involve my weight problem or your husband and 2 kids! Isn't that special?!

Spooktacular!

2008-11-10T20:50:00.000-08:00

Halloween '08. As close as you'll ever get to Disney Magic...until next year.

Claire was Minnie Mouse, she just preferred not to wear the ears. They were jocking her style.

Molly's Sleeping Beauty was not very tired. Kid ate about 6 lbs of sugar that night. Champion.

Sometimes, Beauty just feels a like being the Beast. But she does it with great style. Even her pinky finger is raised! Go Erin.

Hey there, Little Red Riding Hood. You sure are looking good! You're everything the Big Bad Wolf could want.

Again the Magic

2008-10-27T21:50:00.001-07:00

More Stella shots, just to warm your heart. Sorry if the cherry eye grosses you out, but imagine how she must feel.

Must Love Dogs

2008-10-27T21:04:00.000-07:00

This post doesn't have much to do with nannying or kids, but I wanted to add it anyway so you could really connect with me on an emotional level (which, let's face it, is the real reason you read this ca ca, isn't it?) I want to introduce you to someone I find pretty freaking cute.

I have never been what you would call a 'dog person'. In fact, until fairly recently you might have called me a 'dog hater'. Not all dogs, just the dumb ones. Unfortunately, dogs aren't the brightest of God's creatures (they sniff each others butts, lick themselves in public, dry hump pretty much anything available when they're in the mood) so I have never had a deep affection for canines. But all of that changed when I met Stella.

Stella Blue Simon.

My dad and my siblings and I chipped in to buy my mom a puggle for Christmas about a year and a half ago and I think it was the best decision we have ever made (definitely better than the costumed concrete goose). Stella has brought much joy and excitement into all of our lives and she is so freaking cute I can barely stand to look at this picture. But check out that face! And her teddy bear! That's right, Stella has a teddy bear. She tore out his stuffing and ate off his face, but I think that's just the way she shows affection, so we overlook it.

Stella loves to greet people at the door, shaking her butt and/or the entire lower half of her squat body, carrying her bear companion in her mouth whilst squealing with delight in the back of her throat. It's the greatest feeling in the world, knowing there is something in this world that loves you that much (until she jumps up on you when you're wearing a skirt and scratches the crap out of your fleshy inner thigh with her demon claws.) She is irresistible and I challenge you to come meet this bitch and not fall in love with her.

It should be added that Stella developed something called 'cherry eyes' a few weeks after she came to live with my mom. They tried to fix that, but the doctor who preformed her 'no puppies for you' operation somehow managed to muck that up so she has one cloudy glaucoma eye and one nasty cherry eye. But she does just fine for herself with 1/3 of her original vision still in tact. She sleeps in my parents king sized bed, receives a new toy or outfit every week and eats at least half of everything my mom eats so don't pity this one-eyed puggle. She don't need your sympathy. Oh, and she has the world's cutest Halloween outfit. It's a monkey suit and it's completely bananas! Don't worry, I'll post pictures later.

That's about all I've got for right now. I need to stop blogging after 10pm, because I always end up staying awake way later than I had originally intended. It's a good thing my job has a 2 hour block reserved for rest everyday. I like to refer to it as 'shut the hell up' time, but most of you probably just call it a 'nap'.

the pursuit of happiness

2008-10-26T21:14:00.001-07:00

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.

Albert Schweitzer

For the past 6 months or so, I've been helping plan my 10 year high school reunion. At first, I wanted nothing to do with it. I'll even admit that avoiding reunion planning was the driving force in my Chicago/New York/London job search. This seems ridiculous in hindsight, but after careful examination I've discovered why I was so afraid of this damn reunion, and it can be summed up in one little word.

Failure.

There was a voice inside my head that taunted me on a daily basis. It screamed, "You've accomplished nothing so far and the future doesn't look so bright either, my friend." For a long time, I believed I was wasting my life, serving little purpose and living in defeat. It seemed that all my friends were following a clear path in life while I was unable even to locate my starting point. They were getting jobs, getting married, getting pregnant and all I was getting was overworked (by my 3 part-time jobs) and overweight (by ice cream and carry-out Chinese). There were brief moments of aspiration in there, including a stink in grad school, plans to work for my church, and even dreams of an extended European sojourn. But none of these things panned out and typically left me drifting and convinced I had tried and failed, yet again.

But the one constant for me has been this position as a nanny. I don't know how and I don't know why, but it seems to have stuck. And while I am not delusional enough to believe that I will be a nanny forever (unless Brad and Angelina find me and ask me to join their globe trotting crew), I know that this is exactly what I am supposed to be doing right now. Maybe not tomorrow, but definitely today. I LOVE these girls. They are the children of my heart (sorry, did you just throw up a little in your mouth, cause i did).

Nonetheless, I feel like it's a privilege to play a part in their upbringing. No, this was not my ideal career path, but oddly enough, it has become a bit of a dream job. I don't wear a business suit (more often it's my standard black pajamas), I like the people I work with (minus the occasional temper tantrum), I can watch all the television I want (mostly PBS kids, but I'm not a hater) and on a bad day I can go to my mom's house and she'll make me lunch (grilled cheese or PB&J, but I'm not finicky).

Yes, I would love to make more money and sometimes I wish my job looked better on a resume ('mad diaper changing skills' doesn't speak to everyone). But I have discovered that the only thing really holding me back from my happiness was me. I thought that money, status and a smoking hot body would grant me some kind of security, but obviously that is not true (case in point, Lindsey Lohan). And I would like to thank you, Albert Schweitzer, for the above quote which so eloquently expresses that which my life has taught me so far.

Oh, and I plan to hold my head high at that damn reunion. And

'Failure', you can kiss my ass.

P.S. Might I stress that the 'voice inside my head' is not literal. I am not schizophrenic (or so my counselor assures me), just prone to maudlin sentiment and self-pity.

This Vicarious Life

2008-10-22T20:57:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the best part of life as a nanny is that I can, and often do, indulge my secret love for all things preteen. Through subtle suggestion and manipulation, Erin will become convinced that she loves the Disney Channel movie Camp Rock. Therefore, I will be forced to watch Camp Rock a minimum for 5 times a week for a period of about a month. I will complain about it to my friends and family, but secretly, I have an odd, twisted yet non-sexual crush on Joe Jonas (who plays the lead male character, Shane Gray). Erin has their sheets on her bed, but I pointed them out to her in an online Target advertisment. And since Erin loves the Jo Bros now, I guess I'll just have to buy her their newest CD for Christmas and we simply must listen to it in the car every day after school.
Thankfully, these phases burn bright and pass quickly. Eventually, one of us (me) will get tired of this particular brand of synthetic pop music and attempt to distract the girls with some other inane mass marketed teenage group or fad. It's a vicarious cycle, but someone's got to do it.

P.S. This Sunday my sister Eileen and I are 'taking the girls' to see High School Musical 3 : Senior Year in the theaters. Will Troy and Gabriella relationship survive into college? Can the East High Wildcats win the championship game? And whatever will Ms. Darbus do when Sharpay and Ryan graduate? These are all questions I will soon be able to answer. And then, my shame will overtake me and I will lie to you about how 'lame' it was and how I only went because I promised the girls I would.

But the truth is...

We've been planning this for months.

I already know what I'm going to wear.

The soundtrack is playing on my iPhone as I type.

It will be epic.

I am a tool.

Meet the Peeps

2008-10-20T11:32:00.000-07:00

Now that you have a bit of a feel for me and my neurosis, here's the rundown on the kids for whom I am sometimes responsible.

On a weekly basis I spend about 30 hours with Claire Elizabeth, 21 months. She is the baby of the family (for now anyway) and is right smack in the middle of my favorite stage of childhood. She's a curious, cuddly, opinionated and simply darling girl. She spends a lot of time 'reading', shoving little toys into her purses, draping herself in costume jewelry, speaking gibberish, asking for Mama and Dada, begging for snacks and snuggling with me while we watch Elmo. She loves 'auggies' (aka doggies) but gets terrified if you put curlers in your hair (and I'm not kidding, that kid can scream like no other.) I think Claire might end up becoming a vegetarian which could seriously complicate menu planning for Kathy (their mom) in the future considering the fact that her husband doesn't eat dairy. So....edemame for everyone!

Molly Katherine is the middle child and the definite spitfire of the family. At 4 1/2, she is very petite and has doll-like features. HUGE brown eyes, a cheeky grin, sweet round cheeks and a little blond bob. Molly tends to attract the most attention from strangers and acquaintances alike. She is so freaking cute and when you mix that with her coy personality and mischievous grin, she can be quite the entertainment. The girl LOVES candy, things that are 'sparkly gold and sparkly pink', wearing dresses and aggravating her sister Erin to no end. She HATES the colors black, brown and gray and is still learning how to pronounce the letter R. You know how riding a roller coaster is about the most fun you can have, but it can also give you an enormous headache. That's Molly.

Erin Bridget is the oldest and the wisest (at least she thinks so). She asks infinite questions, adores school and learning more than any kid I've ever known, is reserved around people but adventurous in play, kind of a know-it-all, dedicated to justice and equality (especially if it appears Molly might receive more treats or less punishment than herself), and loves to write and draw. Erin is a very deep kid who thinks about God and Heaven a lot and sometimes asks questions like, "Annie, does Jesus love us more than he loves cheeseburgers?" Erin is a lot like Hermione Granger, minus the whole 'being a witch who lives in a magical castle with her best friends Ron Weasley and Harry Potter' thing. But her mom does work in the dental profession. Eerie, I know.

More to come. Did I mention that Kathy is pregnant with a fourth?!

Deep Thoughts at Nap Time

2008-10-19T22:27:00.000-07:00

I fear that I am profoundly unsatisfied because constantly I struggle with the dignity and the depravity of life. I can be completely content and utterly restless for 'more' simultaneously. More passion, less shame. Less burden, more love. More food, less fat. Less numbness, more truth. While I take pride in my work, I am still a touch embarrassed to tell people what I 'do' for a living. There are times when this is enough, but on occasion I despair to think that I live a artificial life. I am a mother, sort of. A grown up, maybe. A traveler, infrequently. A dreamer, emphatically. A maverick....nah, I'm not going there :-)

However, I am frequently struck bythe thought that, to an outsider looking in, my life may seem like a game of make-believe with no clear end in sight.

Someone told me once that I am an expert at killing hope. She said that I 'retreat to my cave of fatalistic ambivalence' in order to avoid disappointment and failure, both in myself and in those I love. I am still working through that, digesting it if you will. Because, quite frankly, to me that mindset sounds dangerous. Like a solid defense against pain, but also against joy. Deep, nourishing, abiding joy. And if I am to be honest, truly honest, it is not suffering I am wary of, but felicity.

So, what do you do?

2008-10-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

My name is Annie and I am a nanny. I am in the business of childcare. My profession exists to facilitate yours. *You* go to work every day in order to provide for your family, and you need me (or people like me) to help you do just that. I will watch your child, feed your child, protect your child and love your child in your absence.

However, I am not a parent. I have no children of my own. It is my greatest hope, and the one thing I am certain I was designed to do well. But for now, I will struggle to be content with loving your children, and loving them well.

I love my job. Waking up and going to work seems to be a chore for some people, but not so for me. I look forward to Monday mornings. I don't mind dirty diapers. I anticipate playgroup. I enjoy Sesame Street. I adore nap time! I heap praises on your children when they do well and I uphold discipline when they misbehave. And at the end of the day, I get to go home and sleep uninterrupted!

I reap most of the benefits of parenthood, without the cost. Most. Because, don't forget, these are not my children. I am not their mother. And while I love your family, it is not my own. I'm still waiting to discover if a husband and children are at the heart of my story. But thank you for inviting me to play a part, however insignificant, in your own.

*please note 'You' is being used in universal terms*